A Simple Hug - A Heavy Realization

Japan seems to amplify emotions like no other experience can.

My buddy Kohei, his friend Kazu, and I hung out last Saturday night. After walking around looking at the illuminated garden at a temple, we decided to go to dinner together. We had such a great time, joking around, talking about all sorts of stuff (all in Japanese of course...crazy, I can actually hold a conversation in Japanese), drinking, and eating.

Finally, it was time to ship out to catch the last trains. In the subway, right before Kazu boarded his train, he told me it was nice to meet me and how much fun he had. He then moved in for a hug. I was thrown off guard by the gesture, but returned it equally. He boarded the train, and we waved at him as it took off. My first thought, "That was very American of him to do that." (Yeah, I know other people in the world hug, too, that was just my first thought, though).

Since then, I've been in a state of contemplation.

Living here in Japan for this long has desensitized me to something I've been told I'm really good at - hugging. To me, it's more than just an action - it's language. A hug can convey love and truth. A hug can tell a lifetime story. A hug can lift days, months, years of emotional turmoil. A hug is important for stability, security, and self-awareness.

I've grown up utilizing this language in my everyday life, so why was it so easy to forget?

To tell the truth, that hug felt really good. It felt sincere. Maybe because it was a received hug? Take my American/English-speaking friends here, for example. We've hugged before. In retrospect, I think for some of them, we wouldn't have hugged unless I motioned to do so. Nonetheless, we did hug or had some kind of physical language/interaction with each other. However, those times were in the midst of traveling or some major event; the things being experienced at the time blocked out the recognition of feelings in general.

This time, though, it was an easy, laid-back day. I had all the time in the world to notice anything and everything. Maybe it was shocking because Kazu's a Japanese citizen. I've been accustomed to seeing people here bow, or wave, or nod, or NOTHING at all with one another (and yeah, that's WITH friends). Then all of a sudden, someone says goodbye to me the way I would someone else that WASN'T Japanese? What the hell's going on!

Seriously, in that moment, I think the memory of every hug I've given to people in my life hit me all at once. I felt like I was home, but at the same time, my heart felt very heavy because it was looking for something it has been yearning for all this time.

Something so simple can make you think about your whole life.

Something so simple can make you feel so loved.

Something so simple can make you feel really lonely.